Since the First Day: When You Don't Feel Fruitful but Heaven Is Moving
- xwithlovet25
- May 16
- 5 min read
I had a dream I can't fully remember––but I remember seeing a man.
He was attractive. At first, I thought was it romantic but as I sit here reflecting, it was deeper than attraction. In a way it pulled my spirit toward stillness. He was teaching me, but I don't recall a single word of what he said. Just that he was there. Present. Intentional. Teaching.
Then I woke up––and the weight of the day returned. I was getting ready for work, feeling worn out by my walk with God. Honest moment? I was over it. Over the silence. Over the waiting. Over the seeming lack of fruit.
And that's when my best friend came to me and said she was about to head to work, feeling depressed.
I knew why without her even explaining. It was the same reason I had sighed stirring at the ceiling that morning. Tired of feeling like purity, obedience, and doing things "the right way" wasn't paying off.
As we were heading to the car, we had a discussion about women we've seen who entertain multiple guys, and post provocatively––and they get the attention, the ring, the relationship. Meanwhile, here we are––trying to live set apart––and it feels like we're just...waiting. But that dream lingered in my spirit. That man. That moment. That teaching I couldn't remember. I opened my Bible to the book of Daniel and began reading Daniel 10, and everything shifted.
Daniel was tired, Too
Daniel wasn't just a prophet––he was a man who had been taken from his home, stripped of everything familiar, and placed in a world that did not honor his God. Sound familiar?
And yet, he remained faithful.
In chapter 10, we find mourning. Weeping. Fasting. Praying.
"At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. I ate no choice food...I used no lotions at all the three weeks were over. ––Daniel 10:2-3
He wasn't eating well. He wasn't thriving. He wasn't feeling it. He was spiritually depleted. Still he showed up.
And after 21 days, a man appeared in a vision. A man whose face was like lighting, eyes like fire, voice like a multitude. Some scholars believe this was the pre-incarnate Christ; others believe it was a high-ranking angel like Gabriel or Michael. Whoever it was, the message wasn't a prophecy. It wasn't a to-do list. It was this:
"Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and humbled yourself before God, your words were heard."
––Daniel 10:12
Since the First Day
That hit me like thunder.
Not "after 21 days of fasting."
Not "once you proved your devotion."
Not "after you cleaned up your emotions."
Since the first day.
That means the moment Daniel turned his heart toward God––even if his mind was a mess, even if he felt weak––God heard him.
And not only that...
"I have come in response to them. But the prince of Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days..."––Daniel 10:13
There was a delay, NOT denial.
There was warfare, NOT neglect.
And maybe you need to hear that like I did:
Heaven is not ignoring you. Heaven is fighting for you.
When You Don't Feel Fruitful
Let's be honest––purity is hard when the world rewards compromise.
You're guarding your body, heart, and spirit, and it feels like no one sees it.
You're showing up in prayer and feel like God's voicemail is full.
You're trying walk righteously while others stroll into relationships built on lies, lust, or manipulation––and they get applause while you get silence.
It's tempting to give up.
To give in.
To stop trying.
But here's the warning: don't mistake delay for defeat.
There's a spiritual war happening over your obedience. Over your promise. Over your future.
And just like in Daniel 10, sometimes the very thing you're praying for is on it's way, but the fight in the unseen is real. That's why you feel the pressure. The silence. the discouragement.
Hell doesn't fight what doesn't threaten it.
Go Your Way, Beloved
By the time you get to the end of Daniel (chapter 12), he's seen some of the most mind-blowing visions in all of scripture––many he didn't even understand. He asked the messenger to explain, but the message?
"Go your way, Daniel, because the words are rolled up and sealed until the time of the end."––Daniel 12:9
In other words: you don't need full clarity to walk in full obedience. Sometimes God says, "Go your way" not because He's brushing you off, but because you've already been faithful, and what's coming is above your understanding––but not beyond your destiny.
"As for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and the at the end of the days you will rise to receive your allotted inheritance."––Daniel 12:13
Daniel was greatly loved (Daniel 9:23, 10:19). And so are you.
So What Do You Do When You Feel Like Giving Up?
Here's the instruction. Take it like spiritual vitamins:
Keep your heart set on understanding––you don't have to know it all. Just stay open.
Stay humble before God––you don't need to perform. You just need to be honest.
Remember you're heard––Even if you don't feel it, you're not being ignored.
Recognize the warfare––Delays may be spiritual. Press in. Don't retreat.
Don't envy the shortcut––What's built on compromise will require it to survive.
Keep walking––Your portion is sealed, your future is secured, and your waiting is not wasted.
Final Encouragement
That dream I had? I may not remember the word, but I now believe the point was never the information––it was the confirmation.
The presence of the man in the dream was a foreshadowing of what I'd later encounter in Daniel: A man sent from heaven to say, "You are not forgotten. You are not overlooked. Since the first day..I heard you." And maybe you needed to hear that, too.
You are heard. You are loved. You are seen.
Even when you don't feel fruitful.
Even when others seem to be winning.
Even when the silence gets loud.
Stay faithful.
Go your way.
The promise is sealed.
And Heaven is still moving.
Disclaimer:
"Go your way" in Daniel 12 does not mean follow your own plans or lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). Instead, it's a divine reminder to continue walking faithfully in the direction God already gave you––even when you don't fully understand what's ahead. It's not permission to drift from God's will… it's reassurance that obedience doesn't require full clarity, only full trust. Keep acknowledging Him, and He will continue to direct your path.
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