Love Hurts. Love Heals.

"Love doesn't just hold you––it shapes you."

Let's talk about love–– the raw, the real, and the reason behind it all.

Now before we dive in, let me make one thing clear:

I'm single.

Not the "lonely and desperate" kind. More like the "God's got me in prep season, and I'm over here simmering like a good stew" kind.

I'm not in a relationship. I'm in preparation. And not the Pinterest-board, bridal-shower kind either. I'm talking about the soul-deep, God-what-are-You-doing kind of preparation.

The type where you're learning to forgive people who never apologized, pray when you're triggered, and clap for couples while secretly asking, "Lord... am I next?"

So yes––I'm single. But that doesn't mean I don't think about love.

Or marriage.

Or how people make it look so picture-perfect online––while some of us know behind the scenes there are days they're whispering prayers between deep sighs and side-eyes. But hey, we listen and we don't judge. God, prepares us all accordingly.

Because the truth is: love is beautiful––but it's also hard.

Why is Marriage So Difficult and Full of Pains?

Because marriage isn't just a romantic idea––it's a divine design.

God created it to reflect Christ's love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25-32). That means it's sacrificial, refining, and holy––not always easy.

"The two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one."

––Mark 10:8

Becoming "one" sounds poetic... until it's two people, two histories, two temperaments, two sets of triggers learning how to walk in unity. It brings your fears, your flaws, and your faith (or lack thereof) to the surface.

And yet––God uses the tension not to break us, but to build us.

"Count it all joy... when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

––James 1:2-3

Marriage is a covenant, not just a contract. And anything sacred comes with resistance––because the enemy knows how powerful a godly union can be.

Why Are People Afraid to Be Loved?

Because love isn't just soft––it's exposing. It requires vulunerability. And for many, vulnerability feels like danger.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

––1 John 4:18

Some people haven't seen healthy love, so when it arrives, it feels foreign. Others don't believe they're worthy of being loved––so they self-sabotage before they can be seen. And some fear that if someone really saw them, they'd leave. I believed this.

But real love––the kind that reflects God––doesn't run from your flaws. It sits with them and calls you higher.

What Happens When You Love Hard...But It's Not Returned?

There has been countless of times I've felt like the one who gave to much, held on too long, prayed too hard. I started wondering if love is worth it.

But let this settle in your soul:

"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

––Galatians 6:9

If you felt what I felt, your love wasn't wasted. Even if they didn't honor it, God saw it. He saw how you stayed soft when life told you to harden. And He'll use it––not just to grow them, but to grow you. Loving deeply doesn't mean you're weak. It means you carry the heart of your Father.

So...Why Did God Command Us to Love One Another?

Because love is His language.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart... and love your neighbor as yourself."

––Matthew 22:37-39

Love is the greatest command because it reflects the greatest sacrifice. Jesus didn't just preach love––he became it. God knew love would stretch us. That it would ask us to forgive when we'd rather walk away. To believe the best. To lay down our pride. But He also knew love would change us.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

––1 Peter 4:8

Loving others doesn't mean tolerating disrespect or losing yourself. It means choosing to reflect Christ––even when it's uncomfortable. Love isn't always soft. Sometimes it's fire.

It refines. It reveals. It resurrects.

Marriage will test you. Singleness will shape you. And both seasons are holy when surrendered to God.

So to the one waiting, wrestling, or wondering if love is worth it––don't lose heart. Let God prepare you. Let Him purify your love. Because when love finally comes––in the form of a person, a purpose, or a promise––you'll be ready to recognize it. Not by perfection, but by its peace.

"And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is LOVE."

––1 Corinthians 13:13