When Questions Collide With Truth: My Unexpected Encounter with John 18
- xwithlovet25
- May 12
- 4 min read
Last night, I sat down to watch a debate: Christian vs Former Christian.
Just a causal night of stirring up existential dread, right?
About 18 minutes into the video, I found myself deep in a familiar spiral:
"Is the bible really all truth? Or did people take certain truths out?"
I wasn't looking to rebel.
I was looking to understand––honestly, desperately, prayerfully.
And right when the question left my heart, my Alexa––which had no business interrupting––suddenly started playing a song.
Not just any song. A song that was scheduled for 5AM the next morning:
"I'll Give Thanks."
Let me be clear:
I didn't ask for it.
I didn't press anything.
I was just sitting there questioning reality, and boom––my device decide to DJ my spiritual crisis.
Cue the eerie chill crawling up my spine. At first, I thought, "Okay, either I'm about to get raptured...or haunted." But when I sat still long enough, the eerie turned into holy. It was like a gentle whisper through the chaos brewing in my mind:
"Before you get lost in debate, remember who I am. Remember gratitude. Remember trust."
Still, I wasn't ready to move on. I felt a deeper pull––an invitation––to go to the Bible itself, not YouTube debates. I paused the video at 18:36 and turned to the Book of John, chapter 18. And there, the pieces started falling into place.
John 18 is heavy.
It's where Jesus gets betrayed.
It's where truth faces lies.
It's where surrender outweighs survival. As I read, so many thing jumped out:
Jesus Heal Even When Betrayed
(Answering a question that's bothered me for a while)
In the Gospel of Luke 22:50-51, not John, it says Jesus healed the man's ear after Peter tried to fight. John 18 just says Jesus told Peter:
"Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"––John 18:11
Even facing betrayal, Jesus restores what was broken. Even facing death, He chooses mercy over violence. And about the cup? Jesus already knew suffering was coming––and He chose it anyway. No running. No last-minute "God, change the plan."
Only surrender.
"I Said Nothing in Secret"
(Another moment that hit me hard)
Jesus said in John 18:20:
"I have spoken openly to the world...I said nothing in secret."
He wasn't hiding anything.
He wasn't playing games with truth.
It was all out in the open––for those willing to listen.
Maybe God was nudging me in that moment too:
"You're looking for hidden answers––but some truths are already right in front of you."
Maybe it's not about endlessly questioning. Maybe it's about finally trusting what has already been made known.
"Is That Your Own Idea, or Did Others Talk to You About Me?"
(John 18:34–– and wow, did this on punch me in the gut)
Jesus asks Pilate:
"Is that your own idea," Jesus asked, "or did others talk to you about me?"
In other words;
Are you genuinely seeking?
Or are you just recycling secondhand opinions?
Then stopped me cold.
Because here I was, letting a Youtube debate stir my doubts––when Jesus was gently asking:
"Do you know Me for yourself? Or are you just letting everyone else tell you who I am?"
Truth Isn't Fragile. And God's Not Panicking.
After sitting with all this, I realized:
Truth doesn't crumble because people argue about it.
God's Word doesn't evaporate because the world is confused.
Faith isn't destroyed by questions––it's strengthened through them.
If anything, tonight showed me that God can handle my wrestling––and I believe he can do it for you too. And even more––He's not worried. He's not sitting on His throne wringing His hands over who edits a Bible verse or who posts a deconstruction video. His Kingdom is not of this world. (John 18:36) It doesn't rise or fall on human opinions.
So Where Does That Leave Me (and Maybe You Too)?
Maybe tonight wasn't just about answering my questions. Maybe it was about shifting my posture. Not passive. Not fearful. Not reckless. But bold.
Bold enough to keep asking––but also bold enough to trust what I already know.
Bold enough to say:
"I'll give thanks."
Even before the full understanding comes.
Even when the world spins debates.
Even when Alexa randomly DJs my spiritual life.
Final Reflection:
Are you questioning because you truly seek God––or because you're absorbing someone else's opinion or doubts?
Are you looking for hidden mysteries when some truths are already clear?
Are you willing to trust God's voice above human arguments?
Closing thought:
Maybe the most scared moments aren't when we get perfect answers––but when we let God interrupt our doubt long enough to remember who He is. And when that happens, even the eerie can turn into holy. And maybe that's exactly where trust begins.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to Him and he will make your paths straight." –Proverbs 3:5-6
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