At the start of the Month: When God Nudges You to Seek

"This belongs to You, God. I'm removing it from common use and dedicating it fully to Your purpose. Clean, focused and devoted."

This morning I woke up in tears.

Not because something happened overnight, but because something within me stirred so deeply that my spirit couldn't stay quiet. Heartbreak has a way of humbling you. And when you're walking with God, heartbreak doesn't always come from a person––it sometimes comes from the weight of purpose, the silence of seasons, or the pressing of the Spirit.

I cried out to God.

The kind of cry that doesn't come with words––just ache.

Negative thoughts crept in like shadows, but I kept pressing into Him. And somewhere in the tears, He gave me sleep. A rest only He can give.

I woke again still heavy––but I tried to distract myself with a small hobby. And then, in the middle of what I was doing, something unusual happened.

At exactly 12:45pm, a gospel song started playing. No alarm set. No playlist open. Just... sound. It startled me. But the moment I heard it, I knew.

It was a song I used to play every morning at 5am for months––"I'll Give Thanks" by Housefires. A song of surrender. A reminder to give God gratitude even when life feels uncertain.

And I sang. I didn't question it at first. I just sang.

What Did It Mean?

I don't believe it was random.

It felt like God was reminding me:

"I still see you. I still hear you. Don't lose your praise."

And as I reflected on this moment, God had been preparing me for this very moment. I remember praying to Him, "Help me to keep Him first."

As the new month begins, I've been wondering if I should fast the first three days––May 1st to 3rd. And in that moment, I didn't get a clear "yes" or "no", but I got a divine nudge to seek. So I prayed:

Prayer for Guidance on Fasting:

Father God,

I come to You with an open heart as this new month approaches. I want to honor You with my life, my time, and my choices. Lord, I don't want to move ahead of You or fall behind You––I just want to walk in step with You.

If You are calling me to fast, speak it clearly to my spirit. Quiet the noise of doubt and fear, and let me feel Your peace in the decision. If this fast is meant to draw me closer, then strengthen me for it. If it's meant to consecrate my heart for what's ahead, then prepare me now.

Give me wisdom to hear Your voice above all others. I trust that You will lead me in the way I should go––whether that means fasting, worshiping, rest, or simply sitting at Your feet.

Lord, align my desires with Yours. Let me not do this out of ritual, but out of relationship. I only want what You want. And if You call me to fast, let it be sacred offering––an act of worship and surrender.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

I'll add more soon...

I'm still sitting with this moment. Still waiting. Still learning to be okay with not having every answer. But I wanted to write this while it was still fresh––because someone else might be feeling the same pull, the same ache, the same divine interruption.

And if you've ever wondered whether God still speaks, let this be a soft whisper to your soul:

He does.